I feel like I've spent the week running around like a mad man. If have this emerging sense of what I'm being called to do, but haven't quite landed the idea. Part of me is wondering if I'm just on an ego trip, trying to be an uber-pastor. Part of me loves to study. I get energized by going to libraries, reading articles, putting the pieces together in my head (or on paper). What I'm looking for is a way to breathe through this process, to not have it become anxiety-driven.
I'm horrible at figuring out where to start. As an intuitive, introvert, I rarely think in logical steps. I think in irruptions–one thing bubbling up, then another. Sometimes the thoughts are directly related, more often than not, they are a few steps apart.
Some of what I'm chewing on:
1. What's with the emerging church condemnation of anything Christian that is older than two weeks? Why do bald men with dark framed glasses think of themselves as new Messiahs, dump on thousands of years of Christianity (because, of course, they know better–they went to seminary) and trot off to the local cafe to start a 'new' church?
2. When are we 'the church'? Is it only during the hour (+/-) on Sunday morning? What about the other 167 hours a week? It seems so much of theology is grounded in an understanding of church as what happens inside a building on Sunday morning. I appreciate that what happens on Sunday morning matters tremendously, but 1 out of 167 is quite a miniscule ratio.
3. Somewhat related to number 2 - the trajectory of much of theology is oriented 'from the people to or towards God.' Sort of like, God did this amazing thing, so we all need to gather together and pay homage. It seems to me that the whole flow of God's intent, initiative, and action has been from God toward people: creation, exodus, wisdom teachings, incarnation, the whole of Jesus' recorded life-constantly reaching out to people who were outside and inviting them into the banquet, the outpouring of the Spirit, etc. What would it mean for people in the pews to 'turn around' and enter into the flow of God's gracious work in the world through Jesus Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit. Is the mission of Jesus done? Or are we now the body of Christ, and if such, are we to carry on the ministry of Jesus in the manner of Jesus as revealed in the gospels?
Just a few things on my mind–a terribly disorganized place.
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